So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
