I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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