my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
