dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
