Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
