ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she peed on how many people?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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