I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
