in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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