I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
