it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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