Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
