I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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