I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize