make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
