So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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