i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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