I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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