i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
