There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
