im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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