I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
