Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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