Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
