i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
