My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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