careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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