38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
