your room smells of hookers.
And success
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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