So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
