So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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