Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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