4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
