real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You pole danced in your parka.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
