I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
