I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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