carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
