Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
the liver wants what the liver wants
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
