Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
