So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize