So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
