i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
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