fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
