I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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