Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
