time to smoke my breakfast
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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