i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize