Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
