is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
