eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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