Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
