Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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