she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize