Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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