i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
