Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
