i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
